October 6, 2018: Visit to Cherry Log and the Big Foot Museum

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Off again and this time north on 575 to Cherry Log where the three year old Big Foot Museum is located just off Hwy 515–our first stop.
You enter through the front porch with eerie movie music playing–sort of like Indiana Jones music before he gets into big trouble or finds himself in a snake pit.  You know there’s something to watch out for.
After a brief intro, you pass by the impressive wall of Big Foot researchers.  There are a bunch of them and then you watch a short introductory “welcoming” film that asks if you’re a believer.  Tells you to use an open mind to see for yourself these life changing experiences people have had viewing the Sasquatch, or the Oh Mah, or the Wild Man, or the Wooly Booger, or the White Thang, or the Boojam, or BIG FOOT seen on every continent, a survivor of the extinct species:  Gigantopithicus.
There is no more compelling creature than the green-eyed, round shouldered, 6 to 10 foot, 300 to 1000 pound, long armed, large handed, black or silvery white or brown ape-man with the prominent brow and slits for a nose.  All Sasquatches have this in common–big feet, an intolerable stench,a piercing cry, and of course are really big and scary.
We go to the theatre to watch the 17 minute main feature film/documentary.  Above the screen you see this quote:  “It’s the glory of God to conceal a thing but the honor of kings to search out a matter.  Proverbs 25-2.”
We arrived before the next show started and were entertained with old fashioned movie ads telling us to visit the refreshment center where our thirst, taste, and hunger will be satisfied.  Pepsi is the taste that beats the others cold–except to Atlantans, who are died in the wool Coca-Cola drinkers.  We see flashes– the show starts in 3 minutes…2 minutes…1 minute.  Before the show starts for real, we have one reminder , “See you in church Sunday.”  Do we need to go to church to seal the deal that we are believers?
The movie is very well done and opens with a legend/pourquois story of how Big Foot came to be and why he hides.  He befriended a young girl and told her “shadow stories” around the campfire.  Her parents forbade her to see the beast again.  He sought her out and took her away.  He was lonely.  Members of the community followed.  The girl’s face was scratched by tree branches and she grew wet and cold as it started to rain.  The Big Foot could see how scared and cold she was, so he took her back to her family.  He was told to never come that way again.  As a result he had to hide from humans and never again share his shadow stories.  And that’s why humans rarely see a Big Foot.
We listen to stories of Big Foot sightings, mostly in Kentucky.  We are sitting next to a lady whose brother in law is a Big Foot researcher and has seen one.–for real.
Then we’re off to the exhibits.  We read about the gold miners, Fred and Hank, who shot at a creature they thought was a Big Foot, then escaped to the safety of a cabin.  But of course it wasn’t safe.  Several Big Foots appeared (they travel in families) and threw rocks and boulders down upon the cabin.  Then they shook the cabin.  Then they tried to get inside, one managing to grab an ax above the door.  But the miners using all their strength forced the door on The Big Foot’s ax-holding arm and he was forced to drop it.  “Be gone, you mountain devils,” shouted one of the miners.  Then something told him to start singing and he did:  “Leave us along.  If you leave us alone, we’ll leave you alone and we’ll all go home in the morning.” Looping his song until it was morning and the Big Foots were gone (they are nocturnal creatures), but not the story.  It lived on.  There are more stories and exhibits and Big Foot searching equipment and hand and footprints, with dermal ridges that can not possibly be duplicated.
We sign the guest book.  People have made comments like:  “Looks like my uncle.” or “We believe,” or “One of the greatest attractions in the state.”  We look at movie posters about Big Foot movies like THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK from a Big Foot sighting in Arkansas. It’s rated G.  I hold my hand up next to a big foot hand print found somewhere in Georgia. You can see the result below.  When we’re ready to go, I talk to the ticket seller, who turns out to be the daughter of the owner/creator, Dave Bakara, who has been fascinated with Big Foots all his life and started this beautifully done museum about three years ago with his wife.  She was there and told me of their personal Big Foot sighting in Alva, FL. They were following a report from a guy whose backyard backed up to a swamp and had seen big creatures many times.  He left out fish guts to keep them from harming his family and animals.  David and his wife camped out in the backyard, leaving out smoked fish to attract the Big Foots and to keep them from getting aggressive. After midnight they heard sounds and saw several of them, shadowy creatures on two legs, eating the fish.  They left after 10 minutes or so and had no flashlights or lanterns to guide them.  They just disappeared.
My husband is not a believer.  But I think there is something out there…And we both agreed a trip to this museum is a must.
Google Expedition:  Bigfoot, 1934 Hwy 515, Blue Ridge, GA (but really closer to Cherry Log.) Open every day except Tuesday, 10-5 but hours may differ in the winter.  There is an admission charge of $8.00 but seniors get a discount.  Phone number:  706-946-2601.

September 20, 2018: Road Trip #1: Off To Dahlonega & Where Is That Marker?

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Off to Dahlonega, Georgia, site of the first gold rush in the United States.  The name comes from the Cherokee word for gold or yellow money. They say the streets in Dahlonega are paved in gold.  Are they?

I knew from the research for my second grade show, MS NOODLEHEAD HAS GEORGIA ON HER MIND, that Benjamin Parks of Dahlonega is credited for the discovery of gold in 1828.  He had just had a birthday and went off deer hunting when his boot hit a rock.  Upon closer inspection and after whacking it open, he found the yellowiest color which he knew was…GOLD.  And voila!  The rest is history.  So we were off in search of the site where Benjamin Parks found the first gold nugget in a stream somewhere off Hwy 19 that leads from GA 400 into Dahlonega.

I had done my homework.  I looked on the Dahlonega Visitor’s Center site and found out about a marker–one of those typical Georgia state historical markers–that marked the exact spot. It was supposed to look like this:

And was supposed to be located at the corner of Calhoun Gold Mine Road and Hwy 19.  Thank goodness for GPS or we would have missed this dinky little dirt road entirely.  In fact, we did miss it and had to backtrack.  The visitor’s center website said the marker was pretty much hidden by some red, leafy bushes.  No red leafy bushes to be found.  Wrong time of year?  No marker anywhere.  All we saw was a marker for a wedding up the dirt road.  So my dear hubby started taking pictures of the little dribble of a creek where the marker was supposed to be.  At least we could put that in the book.  And he took a photo of the Calhoun Gold Mine Road sign (see earlier in the text)

All of a sudden, Dean Chuvala appeared.  He turned out to be a godsend.  He lived on a property on the other side of the creek.  He thought we were searching for something we lost–like a hubcap and came to offer his help. He turned out to be this treasure trove of information–perhaps our gold nugget?

First and foremost he authenticated the spot.  Yes, that was where Benjamin Parks found the first gold nugget.  As for the marker, the county had removed it some while back while some road work was being done.  Apparently Calhoun Gold Mine Road washes out quite often onto Hwy 19 and they had been after the county for quite a while to pave this historic road that led up to the original Calhoun Mine.  Dean even called some people he knew to see if anyone knew where that durn marker was now–in storage or elsewhere.  No luck.

Then he told us his wife was a distant relative of Benjamin Parks and had even donated some of his things to the Dahlonega Gold Museum in downtown Dahlonega. And he and his wife hoped to one day have a B and B right there on this historic site.  We were disappointed in the state of Georgia or the town of Dahlonega or whoever for not making a bigger deal of the place where Benjamin Parks stubbed his toe on a gold nugget!

Then Dean, who indeed was this treasure trove of information, told us that the mine was privately owned by a Mr. Ruskin, now deceased, who did not cotton to people going up his road and snooping around.  The mine no longer existed but it had quite a history behind it.  Apparently during a drunken stupor, his truck got stuck in a rut on one side of the now muddy, dirt road, and Dean helped pull him out.  As a reward Mr. Ruskin offered to let Dean bring friends and family up the road to view the ruins.  So Dean one day took advantage of the offer, only to come face to face with Mr. Ruskin’s shotgun.  “Get off my property!”  So that was the end of that.  And the end of that for anyone, as the property was closed off since Mr. Ruskin’s death.  The road is dusty and dirty (and must be a nightmare when it rains…or snows).  But that day there was a wedding, not on the Ruskin property, but beside it where there is some sort of party venue.  We didn’t feel like partying as we had more places to stop by and photos to take…all before dark.

We were greatly heartened that our first road trip/photo trip turned out to be quite an adventure, a mystery solved, and the meeting of Dean Chuvala, a true treasure himself.

Highlights from 2015

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Daughter Sara and I made the front page and the feature story of the MARIETTA DAILY JOURNAL for our duo performances at the Strand, Marietta Square, summer of 2015. Hope to make a return appearance this summer! Thanks to old friend, Therra Gwynn for promoting us!

Premiered my new one woman show on Rosalynn Carter and the Monarch Butterfly Trail at the recent Chatauqua in Plains in October, 2015 with the Carters in attendance.  Received a standing ovation and praise from the Carters.  Not so easy playing someone in front of that person, and an icon at that.  The Carters are uniquely special and a treasure to us as Americans.  Will be repeating this show and hope to take it on the road.  See some photos below.

NEW 2015/2016 School program:  MARY MCLEOD BETHUNE:  BUILDING ON A DREAM with Mama Koku, booked through me. For third grade audiences.  Premiered in October to rave reviews.  Mama Koku is Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune revisited.

The passing of the torch….Daughter Sara Gaare is now playing Anne Frank.  I’ve retired from doing this show and portraying a 13-15 year old!  She’s a great success, performing at both Teaching Museums, North and South.

Passing it on–mother to daughter. Sara Gaare as the new Anne Frank.

Doing the Teddy Bear Tea at Historic Oakland Cemetery’s Sunday in the Park, October 2015. Always one of my favorite things to do.

Catching Up …

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Summer 2014: the premiere of my new play:  SHADOWS OF THE PAST:  DECATUR, GA, 1861-1865, commissioned by the DeKalb Historical Society.  School premieres in March.  Public performances beginning July 17, 2014, in conjunction with the Sesquicentennial Civil War Celebration in Decatur.

Ms. Noodlehead has a new book: TRAVELLING THE GEORGIA ROADS WITH NANCY NOODLEHEAD available for purchase with or without the show. Also available on ebook.

THE BUZZ ON HONEYBEES written by Cathy Kaemmerlen and illustrated by Kathy Coates from Pelican Press, for ages 5-9. Cathy is available for book signings and performances of JUST BUZZING AROUND, stories told by ITTY BITTY BETTY, SHE’S A HONEY OF A BEE for elementary audiences.

THE HISTORIC OAKLAND CEMETERY: SPEAKING STONES, a new book by Cathy Kaemmerlen released by The History Press. Orders for the book can be made by accessing www.historypress.net.

Cathy Kaemmerlen, actress/storyteller/historical interpreter and now author, offers mini performances of women from her books GENERAL SHERMAN AND THE GEORGIA BELLES: TALES OF THE WOMEN LEFT BEHIND, and THE HISTORIC OAKLAND CEMETERY: SPEAKING STONES, published by The History Press of Charleston.

Getting Close to “Fixing” Colony Collapse Disorder Among Honeybees

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This is good news.  University of Georgia is finishing its third year of a grant from The Department of Agriculture to help fight colony collapse disorder among honeybee hives, to find out why our feral bee population is close to extinction, and what we can do to breed bees that aren’t harmed by viruses, mites, and new pesticides.

Managed Pollinator CAP Web-Page: www.beeccdcap.uga.edu

Awareness of the decline of honey bees and other pollinators took a dramatic upturn after two recent events: the October 2006 release of the National Research Council report “Status of Pollinators inNorth America” followed by high death rates of bee colonies in the winters of 2006-2008, a phenomenon now called Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD). All at once, managed pollinators were popularly recognized for what they always were: essential members of American agro-ecosystems.

The problems with managed pollinators cannot be relegated to one or few causative agents. Bee declines are likely a product of negatively interacting factors in pathology, immunology, nutrition, toxicology, genetics, ecosystems management, and bee husbandry. In response, we have assembled a nationally-coordinated team of experts with proven capacity in extension, genomics, pathology, toxicology, management, pollination, and bee behavior. Our long-term goal is to restore large and diverse populations of managed bee pollinators across theUnited Statesto sustain natural and agricultural plant communities.

Dr. Keith S. Delaplane
University of Georgia
Department of Entomology

More information about the Managed Pollinator CAP can be found at their web-page: www.beeccdcap.uga.edu

Bees-i-ness

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Attended a fascinating regional children’s book conference in Birmingham over the weekend and had a critique on a manuscript I’m hoping to sell. There are some wonderful, knowledgeable, and giving people in this industry. Was thrilled to hear Young Adult author Lisa Yee in a keynote and the creator of SCBWI (The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators)and Lin Oliver deliver her 10 success stories keynote to end the daylong conference. I attended Gail Karwoski’s (of Watkinsville, GA) workshop called The Nonfiction Expedition. She was really my first introduction to non-fiction and to what is called narrative non-fiction (I learned this term today–used to call it creative non-fiction) through her book SEAMAN, Merriwether Lewis’ dog from the expedition. I’ve always recommended this book when I perform SACAJAWEA SPEAKS for fourth grade audiences. She is energetic, a very thorough researcher, full of curiosity, skill, prolific, and truly genuine. She writes with a passion for her subjects. I could very much follow her research paths that lead to so many tangential material, material you hate to not include as sidebars, etc. I think in going this route, we’re encouraging our readers or listening audiences to use our material as a starting point (first off) and then to show them that we too find connections and side stories that take us to more interesting facts and stories. Learning is a never ending process.

Secondly I attended Linda Pratt’s session on achieving tension in your work and by accepting diagnostic evaluations by editors, agents, critics. I had a private critique session with her and found her very insightful. I trusted her “diagnosis” and plan to utilize her suggestions. Unfortunately she feared my book garners regional interest, not national. I hope to prove her wrong as I love this story. Don’t all authors fall in love with their story? This one will be a hard one to put down or file away. She’s an agent who formed her own agency with another woman. They deal specifically with children’s and young adult authors, but not really with non-fiction writers. She told me adapted folktales books were popular 10 years ago. Sigh.

From Alexandra Cooper, an editor with Simon Schuster Readers (ages 1-4) I learned that the children’s book market is very narrow these days, with Borders closing and Barnes and Noble doing away with their children’s book wall and leaning more towards educational material. Isn’t that the purpose of chains like THE SCHOOL BOX, etc? She said she’s looking for books with 500 or less words! And here I’m thinking 1200 words is slim for a children’s book. Apparently you’re allowed more words if you’re in the non-fiction genre. Talking about making every word matter. It is a special gift and skill to economize your writing. At first I thought how can you have any substance in a 500 word book? But I saw some truly beautiful and artistic ones, such as Jane Yolen’s SCARECROW DANCE, written in rhymes (something a lot of editors, etc. DO NOT LIKE!) I can see how this is a challenge–just having completed narrowing my 7, 000 word manuscript to a 1200 one. This is where the rewriting and thinking about the value of every word makes writing children’s books so difficult.

From Lola Schaefer (also from Georgia), I saw beautiful narrative non-fiction books, some are her own. I purchased her book JUST ONE BITE and heard her “tell it.” She serves a a consultant in schools, as well as an author in the schools. Her passion, skill, knowledge is infectious. I wanted to see her more in action, with children. She is a force, very animated and skilled. Her subjects deal more with science and nature. I’m thinking this way I guess, obviously, since my book coming out is on honeybees. But obviously my own work as a performer and playwright, for the most part, deals with historical subjects. She got me thinking about symbiotic relationships…and I think I’m beginning to find the answer to a book/subject I’d like to tackle.

Lots of things to follow up on from this one day. Was grateful to have a 3 1/2 hour drive home, to mull over some things. To be around people who’s full time focus is on writing was wonderful…getting published, of course, is the hard part. Great to hear and see so many success stories and witness would-be writers as well as on-the-way writers to very successful ones.

I’ll conclude with one of Lin Oliver’s morals of the story…DO THE WORK. Perseverance and hard work are certainly the first prerequisites. And now that my first children’s book has gone to press, it’s a different kind of work for me–GETTING OUT THE BUZZ. More to come.

I found some google links to the debate over what’s narrative non-fiction; what’s memoir; what’s historical fiction. Google away or check out bookendslitagency.blogspot or laureltarulli.wordpress.com.

In the meantime I’ve got to go back to working as a storyteller. Performances tomorrow at the Atlanta History Center–Halloween tales.

THE BUZZ ON HONEYBEES goes to press

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Today’s the day that THE BUZZ ON HONEYBEES goes to press! I made the final edits yesterday and it looks beautiful with the soft, whimsical watercolor illustrations by Kathy Coates of Charlotte, NC. Itty Bitty Betty, she’s a honey of a bee, is the star of the book, sharing the news she’s collected. She’s a bit of a gossip, but an interesting one, full of facts and information told in a fun way about Georgia’s state insect and the state insect for 17 other states. Bee facts are called BEEZNESS in the book. BEEZNESS number one (not in the book, by the way): did you know that bees were brought into this country by some of the first settlers from Europe? Imagine bringing honeybees in hives on a several month voyage on a sailing ship. Bees are not native to the Americas. The native Americans called them white man’s flies. The settlers knew the importance of honeybees pollinating their crops.

More beezness to follow in other blogs. Am off tomorrow to Birmingham, AL for the Southern Breeze fall conference. They’re my region’s branch of the SCBWI (Society of Children’s Books Writers and illustrators.) Am hoping to come back with lots of marketing and social networking ideas for promoting a book once it’s out. Am also having a manuscript critiqued about Sowbelly, the largest wide mouthed bass on record, caught in Georgia during the Depression. So far no luck on finding a publisher. Maybe the manuscript is to blame? It’s difficult to hear anyone criticize your work. Perhaps it’s easier coming from a stranger. So I’m hoping to come back with some good ideas to make this story come across more effectively. It’s a fish tale that needs to be told once again and treasured.

Southern Breeze/SCBWI Conference 2011

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Attended a fascinating regional children’s book conference in Birmingham over the weekend and had a critique on a manuscript I’m hoping to sell.  There are some wonderful, knowledgeable, and giving people in this industry. Was thrilled to hear Young Adult author Lisa Yee in a keynote and the creator of SCBWI (The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators)and Lin Oliver deliver her 10 success stories keynote to end the daylong conference.

I attended Gail Karwoski’s (of Watkinsville, GA) workshop called The Nonfiction Expedition.  She was really my first introduction to non-fiction and to what is called narrative non-fiction (I learned this term today–used to call it creative non-fiction) through her book SEAMAN, Merriwether Lewis’ dog from the expedition. I’ve always recommended this book when I perform SACAJAWEA SPEAKS for fourth grade audiences.  She is energetic, a very thorough researcher, full of curiosity, skill, prolific, and truly genuine.  She writes with a passion for her subjects.  I could very much follow her research paths that lead to so many tangential material, material you hate to not include as sidebars, etc.  I think in going this route, we’re encouraging our readers or listening audiences to use our material as a starting point (first off) and then to show them that we too find connections and side stories that take us to more interesting facts and stories.  Learning is a never ending process.

Secondly I attended Linda Pratt’s session on achieving tension in your work and by accepting diagnostic evaluations by editors, agents, critics.  I had a private critique session with her and found her very insightful.  I trusted her “diagnosis” and plan to utilize her suggestions. Unfortunately she feared my book garners regional interest, not national.  I hope to prove her wrong as I love this story.  Don’t all authors fall in love with their story?  This one will be a hard one to put down or file away.  She’s an agent who formed her own agency with another woman.  They deal specifically with children’s and young adult authors, but not really with non-fiction writers.  She told me adapted folktales books were popular 10 years ago. Sigh.

From Alexandra Cooper, an editor with Simon Schuster Readers (ages 1-4) I learned that the children’s book market is very narrow these days, with Borders closing and Barnes and Noble doing away with their children’s book wall and leaning more towards educational material.  Isn’t that the purpose of chains like THE SCHOOL BOX, etc?  She said she’s looking for books with 500 or less words!  And here I’m thinking 1200 words is slim for a children’s book.  Apparently you’re allowed more words if you’re in the non-fiction genre.  Talking about making every word matter.  It is a special gift and skill to economize your writing.  At first I thought how can you have any substance in a 500 word book?  But I saw some truly beautiful and artistic ones, such as Jane Yolen’s SCARECROW DANCE, written in rhymes (something a lot of editors, etc. DO NOT LIKE!)  I can see how this is a challenge–just having completed narrowing my 7,000 word manuscript to a 1200 one.  This is where the rewriting and thinking about the value of every word makes writing children’s books so difficult.

From Lola Schaefer (also from Georgia), I saw beautiful narrative non-fiction books, some are her own. I purchased her book JUST ONE BITE and heard her “tell it.”  She serves a a consultant in schools, as well as an author in the schools.  Her passion, skill, knowledge is infectious.  I wanted to see her more in action, with children.  She is a force, very animated and skilled.  Her subjects deal more with science and nature.  I’m thinking this way I guess, obviously, since my book coming out is on honeybees.  But obviously my own work as a performer and playwright, for the most part, deals with historical subjects.  She got me thinking about symbiotic relationships…and I think I’m beginning to find the answer to a book/subject I’d like to tackle.

Lots of things to follow up on from this one day.  Was grateful to have a 3 1/2 hour drive home, to mull over some things.  To be around people who’s full time focus is on writing was wonderful…getting published, of course, is the hard part.  Great to hear and see so many success stories and witness would-be writers as well as on-the-way writers to very successful ones.

I’ll conclude with one of Lin Oliver’s morals of the story…DO THE WORK.  Perseverance and hard work are certainly the first prerequisites.  And now that my first children’s book has gone to press, it’s a different kind of work for me–GETTING OUT THE BUZZ.  More to come.

I found some google links to the debate over what’s narrative non-fiction; what’s memoir; what’s historical fiction. Google away or check out bookendslitagency.blogspot or laureltarulli.wordpress.com.

In the meantime I’ve got to go back to working as a storyteller.  Performances tomorrow at the Atlanta History Center–Halloween tales.

Oh No … End of Summer

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School has been open for a week here, but August is my slow month, really my vacation month.  Or so I like to think of it that way.  After a busy summer with too many projects and work commitments and personal obligations/ complications, I like to think of August as my personal time to crash and recoup.  After all I have a year of school performances facing me starting after Labor Day.  But then I forget–what about all those projects I’ve not completed, including the new school shows planned and new study guides, not to mention all the cleaning and reorganizing I need to do to prepare.  And then there are the phone calls and emails of people wanting to schedule and the contracts/invoices to do.  And there are the Olympics to watch.  And all the books I meant to read.  And the tan I never got. And the great shape I was going to get in. And before you know it the month is slipping away and all I want to do is vegetate and take note of all the things I need to do.

Panic is about to set in.  But not just yet.  I’m at the point in my August hiatus (which is not really one) that I can’t get to sleep at night.  And I stay up late.  The wee, quiet hours, would be a perfect time for a burst of energy. But I don’t really accomplish much.  Do you know you can do do overs in spider solitaire until you figure out how to win the game or realize it’s futlie, but in the meantime two hours have passed. I’m waiting for my energy and drive to kick back in. Just one more game.  I look around and see all the incomplete projects–now messes throughout the house and I wait for the urge to go around like a madwoman and accomplish nine tasks at once.  But that’s what I do all school year.  And after all, this is my summer hiatus and I’m allowed to procrastinate.  So I indulge.  But this week, I really mean to turn things around.  Or do I?

What a Summer

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What a summer!  I’ve been thinking that I should be blogging instead of playing spider solitaire these anxiety ridden late nights when my brain won’t shut down and my body is wishing it would.  My now 91 year old mother has been living with us and I’d love to blog about that experience, which has turned out to be wonderful when I thought it would be stressful.  She is sweet, thoughtful, wanting to be helpful, with a very dimiinshed short term memory, which she allows us to kid her about and she laughs it off.  She sleeps a lot… I had hoped we’d have a summer of reading together her love letters and my father’s during their World War II courtship.

However, this is the summer of drought in Georgia but when-it-rains-it-pours in the Kaemmerlen/Gaare household.  We have been dealing with a terminally ill sister-in-law for me, sister to my husband.  And a series of medical disasters since March with only a week or two that hasn’t been crisis ridden.  I have been working/reworking my one-woman Rachel Carson show–during the research/writing of  her famous book SILENT SPRING, she suffered one medical problem after another, breast cancer, radiation treatments and chemo, with so many complications keeping her from finishing the book, so carefully documenting what DDT rampant sprayings were doing short term and long term to the balance of nature and ultilmately to the health of all living things.  And at the same time, her body was manifesting itself with the problems she was predicting would affect us all if we continued to use these chemical pesticides/weapons.

My sister-in-law’s health is… what we hate to admit… in a steady decline.  She is an end stage renal patient, undergoing hemodialysis 3 times a week.  Getting to that place was a process too–kidneys shutting down, peritoneal dialysis, peritoneal infections, hospitalizations, overcoming one crisis before the next one ultimately set in.  Her 7 week hospital stay this spring was the result of home dialysis, hemo needles that missed the mark, causing a giant hemotoma over her entire upper left side, leading to a staph infection that settled in her heart valves, and at first unbeknownst to us, hiding in her spine.  The vertebral decline led to the second spring hospitilization and spinal surgery and fusion.  Inability to walk. Hospital rehab, then off to a rehab center (formerly called nursing home) for a lengthy visit.  Then seemingly over the hump, positive about her progress, walking some in therapy, the left knee buckled and she broke her tibia and fibula.

The renal disease causes soft bones–falling in her case means something gets broken.  Back in the hospital.  One step forward, two steps backwards.  We start all over, dealing with many doctors, waiting for each and every one of them, trying to coordinate a diagnosis or two or three.  Ordering tests, which means days before the results, waiting for doctors, trying to find out the plan–so much waiting… and in the meantime, the patient lies in bed and gets weaker… Hospitals unfortunately make people sicker.  One thing I have learned is when you have to be hospitalized, get your family to advocate to get you out of there as soon as possible.  Is that the point of all this rambling?  I am supposed to have a point in here somewhere.  It’s hard to find the point when you’re dealing with the next crisis- in the fix this thing mode and then all will be okay.  But it’s never okay. So when do you get to the point?  When is everything fixed?  How long does the light at the end of the tunnel last?  When does reality set in?  No, I think you never give up.  There’s always hope.  You give up when there’s no longer hope.